Am I INSANE?
On top of the normal chaos that is my life, I’m performing in a local cabaret production. I think I’ve mentioned previously that I was an actor in my former life in Sydney.
Tuesday night was the one and only rehearsal for said performance. So there I was, running through my TEN MINUTE monologue for the very first time in front of my fellow performers in a freezing cold, empty hall and struggling to remember my lines. When I’d finished, Hamilton, the director of the production, asked, “How did that feel, Rachael?”
HOW DID THAT FEEL???????? That’s Hamilton’s line when he’s concerned. Why the fuck do I do this to myself?
On the way home I felt FLAT, FLAT, FLAT. My harsh, unforgiving inner-critic went into overdrive, “It’s not funny enough”; ” People aren’t going to laugh”; ” You won’t be able to get it together in just three days time” “The audience is going to go home saying, “She was so much better last year. Why did she come back and ruin it for herself?”
But now it’s Saturday morning…
Last night was opening night. One performance down. Whew! One more to go!
It was AWESOME! When the lights go up and the audience is there, somehow or other it all comes together. I LUUUURRRRVVVVVED the audience and they LUUUURRRRVVVVVVED ME.
And Hamilton was very happy. He he he!
I have to include this image below. It’s from last night. It’s not going to mean much to you guys who didn’t see the show but I think you can see from the colour and the energy, just how much fun performance can be and why we do it to ourselves.
Now I’m going to write a post about the Colonel’s progress on our kitchen.